Ventiquattro settimani (24 weeks): Permissions, potions, pallets, progress, pets, packing and pretending to be asleep

Juliet writes:

Cara amici,

Where to begin?

Perhaps I should start with an apology for not having the time to keep you up-to-date until now…
It’s been getting very busy here, in between drinking and sleeping.

First and foremost, Peter received his citizen ID card today (whoop, whoop!) and I pick mine up tomorrow. The significance of this is more enormous than a pregnant hippopotamus… it means that we can now submit our second lot of permissions to the Mountain Comune (we are in the Garfagnana – a protected national parkland – so their approval is needed for all works).

It also means that we can register for national health insurance and thus sign up with doctors and dentists. Which is quite a relief because in the last week alone, P had an allergic reaction to a wasp sting and ended up with a hand like a blown up marigold glove for 4 days and I had food poisoning! We had to rely on ‘China’ – an ancient and very popular remedy that was first concocted/patented by the Fivizzano pharmacist in 1884 and is still going strong as a cure-all for absolutely everything. I think that you can even clean ovens with it and possibly use in nuclear power stations. Or at least you should be able to judging by the taste. Anyway, we are now fully-fit again, at least while I write this :o)

We also had our first house delivery… well, almost. There was no tail-lift on the vehicle, despite been promised such, and the young driver was rather unhelpful – much shoulder shrugging, head shaking, cries of ‘Madonna!’ and futile calls on mobile. So P, Jim and I were forced by hand to lift, lug and carefully place in our house 400 slate floor tiles (they are heavier than you think), an entire flat-pack kitchen and all the oak planks for the lounge and library. We only blocked the road for 20 minutes though (apparently you are allowed to block any minor road for up to 30 minutes without permission) because our wonderful electrician - who we had also blocked from his return home – leapt to action and kindly helped us with the lugging.

The most expensive kitchen unit (could it be any other?) is badly chipped, all the pelmets and kickboards are missing and several slate tiles are chipped. Apart from this, tutto bene! At least we have several weeks before anything is close to being installed/fitted, so this gives us ample time to shout at people on the phone. And it is exciting to have cardboard boxes in the house as we are a bit weary of dust, cement and general muck.

After this minor fiasco, the lovely electrician (Stefano), who bears an uncanny resemblance to Peter’s nephew Robin, gave us a very reasonable quote for the works. So at last we have one official employee – hoorah!

We are meeting with Christian (our geometra – strange Italian thing - cross between an architect and surveyor) this week to discuss the finer details of plumbing systems and septic tanks. What fun. Once this is submitted and approved, we can finally get quotes from the plumber/builder and hopefully start work.

That February moving in date is looking a bit far-fetched :o)

Weed continues to disown us, only coming home for food and hissing. We are very upset but hope that time (or at least another move) will bring her round again. Tumble has become much more affectionate and even more bonkers – leaping at absolutely anything, even things that don’t actually exist.

We are moving in two weeks’ time to our posher rental place – that nunnery around the corner from Lecci. We are very excited about it, although after 6 months here, we have accumulated so many possessions we may need another removal lorry. (Advanced warning: we have no idea about internet there yet so may be silent again for a while).

As I think I said before, September has been the busiest month for guests. We have enjoyed the distraction from floor digging and angle-grinding immensely. First up was the Royal Visit from The Broshes. Far too short a time (3 days) but we managed to cram in lots of things, including the Tango festival (we only saw one show with 7 Argentinian pairings, but it was absolutely breathtaking). Ella and Maia have really grown and it was wonderful being able to spend time with them and heaven catching up with Clare and Asi. We miss them desperately.

Second gang was Simon and Sarah – our soon-to-be Italian neighbours who are building a house 30 mins from us in Bagnone and wanted a place to stay while they prodded the building team. It was great fun seeing them, talking about Italian life, getting some tips from a couple who have lived here before, plotting work (Simon is a photographer who I have worked with before) and generally having a good giggle over pizza and several limoncelli. We really look forward to them renting here in November.

Third – and possibly most eventful – was a flying visit from my London-based Kiwi friend and ex-partner-in-crime at Transport for London, Allan Ramsay, plus his missus Heather. Walking them round the garden at Lecci was inspiring as Al is used to lots of land back home and reassured us that it was all manageable. (Thanks Rambo!) Sadly, they only stayed one night en route to seeing his sister/bro-in-law who were holidaying in the posh resort of Santa Margherita in Liguria (quieter version of Portofino). We joined them there for a fantastic evening of revelry. Unfortunately, our beloved Shaguar – which has been overheating for weeks – decided to do a pretty good impression of Ol’ Faithful and spit masses of steam out of the engine, so we ditched it at La Spezia en route and got the train. No problems so far. Lovely train journey, great company, delicious meal. However, little did we realise that there was an Italian train strike so the times were all up the spout. We only figured this out at 1am when we were en route back and the train stopped about 6 stations short. It was the last train until 7am the next day, the taxis had abandoned the station and it had started to rain (yes, it does rain here too!). Anyway, to cut a long story short, after unsuccessfully pleading with various hoteliers, police and random passers-by, we had to spend the night in the railway station. We got about 20 mins sleep because we were so cold and so unused to sleeping rough. But we managed to amuse ourselves with games of “Count the flies on the wall” and “Last one to shiver gets an imaginary cigar”.

Our old neighbour Kaz and her friend Alex left us this weekend after a 4-day stay. Peter was in heaven with two new ladies, as were the cats (Weed came back to sleep in their room and Tumble got lots of playtime). They were super guests – generous, fun, alcoholic and the best washer-uppers this side of the Apuane Alps.

Chloe arrives tomorrow (hoorah!). More excuses to drink, walk gently around our house (instead of trying to knock it down) and talk non-stop for hours as we haven’t seen her properly for ages.

And last but not least, we have Simon back again at the end of the month as his rental place has fallen through and he needs to find another one asap. Hope he doesn’t mind sleeping amongst packing boxes!

October will be quieter, which is just as well because we really ought to focus on… the…er… the…h… um….what… oh, yes, that house-type thing with no working loo.

Anyway, we love and miss you all and hope you are faring the teetering economy and bad weather that we read about online every day. We do worry about you! Please don’t forget us and send us your comments here, or drop us an email or, better still, call us on Skype.

Ciao per ora
XXX

19 settimani (19 weeks): Fridges, furniture, floors, friends and festas

Juliet writes:

Cara amici,

Life has suddenly got very busy!

We start with “A shopper’s guide to Italy”. My first reaction is ‘Don’t do it’! It’s a bit of a nightmare trying to get anything here. We love the fact that they don’t have department stores, big chains and sprawling metropolis multi-storey malls. We also think it is part of the Italian charm that 99% of shops, restaurants, hotels and workshops are small and run entirely by the same family (sons, brothers, daughters, nephews, grandparents… all are welcome as long as they share the same blood). Better still, we adore the fact that they generally give you free things/discounts. But on the other hand, trying to buy a fridge turned out to be as easy as bottling an elephant fart. While juggling.

Our various quests to La Spezia, San Stefano, Aulla etc (and I am convinced that we went through Switzerland at one point) would have been bearable if (a) it hadn’t been near to 100 degrees fahrenheit when we decided we desperately needed a fridge and some garden furniture (b) the car was working properly and didn’t require us to put the heaters on full-blast in order to stabilise the constant over-heating and prevent the car from blowing up (c) the opening hours of shops were anything approaching civility, reliability or consistency and (d) we had actually found items that didn’t require a second mortgage.

Still, at least we now have somewhere comfortable to sit and admire that breathtaking view and can drink coffee with milk that doesn’t go off in 3 nanoseconds.

I am also very pleased to report – at long bloomin’ last – that we have the deeds to our house, the permissions have been registered (should hear the response by mid-September), our residency permit is being processed and… BUILDING WORK HAS STARTED!!! It’s all informal until we get permissions, but our lovely Irish builder Jim (looks like God, works like a demon) has ripped out all the naff floor tiles with a vengeance only experienced by people who don’t like anything to do with the ’70s.

So blissfully we have rubble at last :o)

We are well on the way to hiring a great Italian electrician and specialist builder, plus we have almost got to grips with the various heating solutions available in Italy (this requires three master degrees, 5 years as a plumber, an innate knowledge of photovoltaic panels and five miles of tubing).

In the garden, Peter has heroically strimmed nearly all of the vineyard (which has equated to not less than 50 wheelbarrow-loads of grass cuttings so far) and has dug a trench for the underground stream to come up to ground level and thus dry out the foundations necessary for our swimming pool etc. All in stifling heat with only a pickaxe and the dream of skinnydipping to keep him going. No wonder he has lost one and a half stone and is looking very bronzed!

I have helped to tidy up the vineyard, done yet more pruning and have been trying to unmangle the fruit orchard. We now have a nice compost heap on the go (both Peter and Jim have been instructed to wee on it as much as possible as it is the best natural accelerant apparently!)

No longer is Peter called “City Boy” by Giovanni… in fact my dear husband spent all last week covered in dirt with his trousers held up by a piece of string. So his status as Regazzo dell’Agricola (Farm Boy) must surely be secured. Which is more than I can say for the string – luckily for us it was during siesta time when it broke and his trousers and underpinnings fell down revealing all equipment, so at least the neighbours were safe!

We have seen our first hummingbird moth – a beautiful creature (pic to the left), the eagles soar majestically above us most days and butterflies are aplenty. The vines are heavy with both white and red grapes – there is something so exciting about knowing that they will be picked and processed in about 3 months’ time (may this have something to do with our alcoholic tendencies?!) We have had our first peaches from the garden – absolutely the most delicious we have ever eaten. The fig and plum trees are on their second fruit and the few pears that have grown so far are almost ready for picking. Oh for a jam pan.

We had my friend Nat over for 4 days, including her birthday. As the three of us were fairly exhausted, it was lovely just to chill out, catch up, eat cake and spend some time at the house and pottering about Portovenere and Sarzana antiques street market.

September is our busiest month for guests – we have five lots of our loveliest friends over (including my Kiwi mate Al and missus Heather, old neighbour Kazzie, friends Patrina and Andrew and the delicious Chloe). We start the ball rolling with the Royal Visit from the Brosh family – our closest, dearest friends – we can’t wait to see you Clare, Asi, Ella and Maia!!!

Healthwise we are doing well, although P had his first experience of Italian hospitals when he got kidney stones. Very painful but mercifully fairly short-lived. He was seen immediately and thoroughly and the doctor and nursing staff were delightful. Knowing our track record of injuries and tropical diseases, we are so lucky it is just a 5 minute drive from our house!

To prove his return to health, P took part in the Fivizzano tennis tournament. Considering he hasn’t played for over 6 months, he did ever so well. First match was a three-set thriller against a very tall chap with mad hair who may possibly have been the Italian brother of Bill Bailey. 7-6, 6-4, 6-3. Sadly, this triumph was transient – the next match was against Fabio Potesta, a great tennis player. He, quite frankly, whipped Peter in two straight sets: 6-0, 6-3. But at least P got some practice and a tennis partner out of it (Fabio is lovely and is very passionate about tennis) and I got a sun tan. Our estate agent and our Carmine neighbour are the likely bets for the final pair… one to watch!

And in the meantime, if we don’t have enough to do, August is the month of festas. With most of Italy on holiday for four weeks, there are posters everywhere for concerts, wine tastings, food sagras and other general excuses to have fun. We have managed to squeeze in 4 so far this month. First was our local Cerignano festival where the Madonna is carried once a year from the church to the Carmine nunnery where she originally stood, and back to the church again. This was followed by lovely homemade food and wine and a rather manic raffle (we won some lovely plants, an apron, some kitchen knives and a rather strange ceramic thing in 3 pieces that we don’t quite understand or know what to do with).

Next up was a rather moving festa in a mountain clearing above Pallerone, which commemorated the war, in between the pole climbing, singing and hoopla. Here we met the organiser and local bar owner Orso (his name is really Guido, but his nickname means Bear, because he is big and cuddly). Between our faultering Italian and his English, he showed us around the unusual little chapel and shared a drink or six. Molto gentile.

Third was the bread sagra at Solieri – a mad karaoke affair in the middle of a field with fantastic food and very cheap wine. We sat next to two young and delightful Italian couples who happen to know some English friends of ours… it is indeed a small, small world!

And last weekend was one of the very best local events - a medieval disfida in Filetto – a small walled 15th century village which closes itself off to traffic for the weekend and everyone dresses up in gowns, tights and archery outfits. There were lots of stalls with local crafts, beautiful jewellery, leather books, cheeses, olive wood furniture etc and some fantastic performers, including a medieval quartet, a comedy version of Romeo and Juliet and an amazing trio who did astounding things with fire, chains, juggling balls and a diabolo.

This coming weekend is another notable medieval festa in the picture-postcard Pontremoli, with archery competitions, flag-throwing, food demonstrations and more cheap wine. It’s a hard life isn’t it?!

Take care all – please don’t forget us and do keep sending your news.

Ciao per ora.

J and P XXX
PS Weed and Tumble are fine… in fact kitty is trying to climb my legs as I write this… and I am wearing shorts (ouch!)